(For Thursday through Thursday, April 30 to May 7)
Our ol’ buddy Wolverine would roll over in his … no, wait a minute. If Wolverine were real, then he’d roll over in his … no, wait again. If Wolverine were real and dead, then he’d roll over in his grave at the thought of his hairy mug on the scary mug sold by 7-Eleven for their new Mutant Berry Slurpee, a promo gimmick for Friday’s opening of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.”
Geez Louise. Can there be a more embarrassing way to kick off the summer movie season that to name Slurpee slop after one of comic-dom’s most venerable heroes? Not to mention, you might need an adamantium (indestructible alloy) palate to really enjoy the stuff, which has been described online as tangy and chemical-ly with an aftertaste of stale Doritos.
But this won’t stop you from buying one, will it? While nursing your mutant brain freeze, consider other affordable fun coming up this week:
√ GimmeYourResumeAndMakeItQuick (Thursday, April 30) — Don’t even waste time reading this. The Lake Chelan Chamber of Commerce hosts an evening of speed networking —swoosh! was that my boss? — at The Vogue Lounge, 117 E. Woodin Ave., Chelan. They say it’s the same as speed dating but without the heavy cologne and awkward pauses. Starts at 6 p.m. Costs $5 per person. Bring business cards. It might also be smart to sum yourself up in one quick sentence, such as: “Loves corndogs on the beach.” Info: 682-3503.
√ Sure, You Can Stuff Yourself at the Food Fair, Or … (Friday, May 1) — Before you tank up on the Apple Blossom Festival’s cotton candy and waffle cones, consider nibbling the free refreshments at downtown Wenatchee galleries. Both the Two Rivers Gallery, 102 N. Columbia St., and Wenatchee Valley Museum & Cultural Center, 127 N. Mission St., serve up eats with their art. On this First Friday, Two Rivers presents works by gallery members (5 to 8 p.m.), while WVMCC features a reception (5 to 7 p.m.) for their show on Apple Blossom history. Free.
√ We’re Not Horsing Around — OK, Maybe We Are (Friday-Saturday-Sunday, May 1-3) — Slip on your Tony Lamas (those are cowboy boots, not actual llamas) and trot your hindquarters out to Appleatchee Riders, 1130 Circle St., Wenatchee, for one of this area’s great sport spectacles. The Washington High School Equestrian Teams (WAHSET) district meet puts some of our best young horsefolk through three days of tough trials. Competitions are usually underway by 9 a.m. each day. Free for spectators.
√ Check It Out: These Library Books Don’t Need Checking Out (Saturday, May 2) — The North Central Regional Library hauls out a zillion books for their annual Apple Blossom Book Sale at the Wenatchee branch, 310 Douglas St. Cheap hardbacks, paperbacks, DVDs and (do these things still exist?) videotapes will entice you greedy-gut bookhounds, so bring a wheelbarrow. Sponsored by Friends of the Library, the sale runs 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Info: 662-5021.
√ Celebrate the Defeat of Those Frou-Frou French (Tuesday, May 5) — Cinco de Mayo means nothing to most Americans, except those looking for any reason to party. So, go ahead … hoist a cold Corona to the defeat of French forces at the Battle of Puebla, Mexico, in 1862. Or, you can do this up right and attend festivities at Wenatchee Valley College. Aztec dancers, Mexican bingo, pinatas, dunk tank, arts, crafts and contests will run from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on campus in the fountain area. Free.