Old Dudes on the Block still qualify as ‘boy band’
You could call it a guilty pleasure, I suppose. But due to either a character flaw, lapse of judgment or blood clot in my brain, I actually enjoy listening to the New Kids on the Block. Read before you judge, please.
I actually hated them when they were popular. I remember my friend Allison was crazy about them and would play their tapes all the time when I went over to her house to play. I was conflicted, because I loved playing with Allison but I couldn’t stand having to listen to that garbage. When I went home, I’d have to go on a Debbie Gibson bender, hoping to forget the horrors I’d just lived through. Well, I may be exaggerating there, but bottom line is I really didn’t like listening to NKOTB. Not one bit.
Well, I noticed as I grew older, I could appreciate such tripe on a level I’d never expected. Is it great music? Certainly not. Is it one of the most fun things to do in the whole world to drive around town with the windows down, dancing and singing along to “Summer Girls” by LFO with your friends? Absolutely.
Boy bands may be terrible, but I’ve discovered their redeeming quality: puerility. And, forgive me for saying so, but the melodies are sickeningly catchy, to the point that I don’t really know anybody within my realm of friends who can’t sing along to at least some songs of that genre, albeit mockingly. That’s the way it needs to be done, because no self-respecting music connoisseur actually takes those dudes seriously. I don’t even think they take themselves seriously. Their music is schlock, but it’s a goofball’s playground. I — and all my goofball friends — can vouch that throwing down some classic NKOTB is a winning platform for getting laughs, or at least smiles of approval, from our audience.
Making a play on modern boy band fare, though, isn’t always received likewise. Which is why I really didn’t pay much mind to the release of NKOTB’s long-awaited new album that came out Tuesday. It’s too new; it won’t appeal to anybody’s ’80s nostalgia. I resisted, I ignored, I figured it wouldn’t be at all indulgent as the older stuff can be. But something kept calling me back. “Listen,” it urged. I don’t know exactly why I gave in, but I did.
I found their music video for the new single, “Summertime.” And I … liked it. As for everything else on the album, I truly don’t care. This new little dose of boy band sunshine will hold me over for quite a while, I think. And even though I never cared for them on any deep, meaningful level, there’s something just so gratifying about seeing Joey, Jordan, and the rest, all growed up. Their solo careers revealed that a little bit, but seeing them all together, trying to pass themselves off as “New Kids” once again … to my surprise, it somehow works. You know the lyrics are insincere, and you know the hard bodies are sculpted by professionals, but the breezy single sends my mind into la-la-land anyway, where Joey is wearing that tank top and cooing to me about how he thinks of me every summer. If only life were like a boy band song; the world might be a much happier place.
