I am wildly frustrated.

I have now ordered four “thermoregulating speedsuits” only to be told by four different reps/distributors/”customer service” experts that each of the four suits aren’t available.

Here is where my frustration begins to build: I have an MBA with a specialization in marketing, so I have some level of understanding of premium products. A premium product, and its ridiculous price tag, is really only a premium product if you can’t get it. The less it is available, the more the consumer wants it. Sad, but true.

As I’ve “ordered” four different suits from four different manufacturers only to be told (after checkout) that it’s not available, backordered, or not even in production yet, my own personal price point rises. With each unavailable suit, my desperation rises and I move to the next viable option with lower standards and an increased willingness to pay a bit more just to get the suit. I have fallen victim to the oldest marketing ploy in the book.

One suit in particular promises to be cutting-edge in its ability to keep you warm while helping you go fast. This was suit number four, so price had become almost a non-issue. The customer service rep explained the benefits of the suit to me, its microfiber technology, the way the zipper is sewn and I nearly began salivating. I was sold. I asked them if they accepted Visa, and of course, she said they did. I gave her my size, and began to rattle off my credit card number only to be told that the suit wouldn’t be available until next month. I nearly lost it.

So, after much frustration, I have decided to pay homage to my swimming roots and cross Lake Tahoe in a plain old racing-style Speedo. This is the same kind of suit that has seemed perfectly adequate for the past 30 years and only became antiquated in the past year or so when all these new, seemingly unattainable technologically-advanced suits took their place.

I have also decided to take the money I had saved for one of these new, elusive suits and share it with my friends at Nordstroms. Having just received their new catalogue, I’m pretty sure that the advertised products are actually available.

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